i jhust puked up my retainher.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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