They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
