i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
