I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
vagina is talking i cant
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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