i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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