I cannot find my penis.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I can't turn off my feet"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
