There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
