he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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