BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
it's great music for shaving your balls
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize