I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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