you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
