Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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