Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm getting married
To pizza
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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