HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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