i think my mom watched the whole time
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
