if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
