He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
