i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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