my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
