mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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