you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
