The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
