Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
it's great music for shaving your balls
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Randomize
