drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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