Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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