you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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