Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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