Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize