Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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