Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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