stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
