Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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