He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm way too hungover for life right now
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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