The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
