hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
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