real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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