Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
