Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
