I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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