No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
