Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
