It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize