in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
