my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm too high and old for this...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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