i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
