As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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