I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
