i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
as a side note pls kill me
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize