You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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