He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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