Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
