were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
