Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
