I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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