I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
