You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
