garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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