You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize