she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
