These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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