dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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