"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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