apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
